HER Lifestyle: Spending Money to Feel Fulfilled?

As I have grown in my career, it’s sad to say, but I have measured my success on designer brands and cars I have been able to afford.

When I first began my career as a hair stylist assistant, the owner I worked for, a hard working and loving woman, owned many designer handbags. Coach bags to be exact. It was the first time my eyes fell in love with a designer handbag.

Another hair stylist I worked with drove a BMW and it was a beauty. At the time, these two women had success and independence that I craved and longed for.

Fulfilling Those Cravings

It was a couple of years into my career that I was ready to bite the bullet and buy my first designer bag. I was on a budget and I couldn’t justify paying full price for a Coach bag. So thank God for Thanksgiving as we all know Black Friday have some awesome deals, especially at the Camarillo Outlets. 

As I waited in line in front of the Coach store on Thanksgiving night, four hours before opening, I couldn’t help but be filled with excitement, anticipation, and joy. It was cold and I was freezing, but I wasn’t alone. There were many other crazies out there just like me.

Lights on, doors open, and in I go. I felt like a kid in a candy store. I couldn’t make up my mind on which one to choose as I wanted one of each. But I finally came to a decision: a handbag with the matching wallet. 

A little over $300 for both, but in my opinion, it was a steal. It was such a high to feel fulfilled, something I’ve never experienced before.

Owning a designer handbag? CHECK! On to the next…

BMW, how I love you. I purchased my first 5 series BMW shortly after. She was beautiful, sleek, modern, and sexy.  She drove like a machine and had a navigation system too. 

BMW? CHECK!

What Did This All Mean?

My success and independence were finally achieved, and I was fulfilled in every way possible, right?

WRONG! 

God quickly taught me that materials don’t measure your success, nor do they make you feel fulfilled. The fulfillment it brings is very much short-lived and I began to feel quite empty. Materials come and go – they never last forever.  Trends are constantly evolving, one minute something is in and the next minute, it’s out.

As I look back, my $300 Coach bag that I craved for so long; I eventually gave it away because a new designer became hot. Two months before paying my BMW off and having the pink slip in my hand, I was in a major car accident that totaled my BMW. And just like that, the materials were gone.

Do you guys understand where I’m going with this? Don’t get me wrong, I love designer brands and nice cars. And I believe if you like them and can afford them then by all means, wear and drive them.

But it’s not all what I’m about. They don’t define me, nor do they measure the level of my success or claim my independence.

So How Do You Feel Fulfilled?

I recently bought a summer dress that I absolutely love. I curled my hair, spent a little extra time on my makeup (bold lip action), put on statement earrings, and slipped into my dress. As I walked into the mall, a woman approached and stopped me. 

She asked, “Where did you get your dress? It’s beautiful!”

I looked at her and said, “Target, it was $15.99 on the clearance rack and if you hurry, you might be able to get one for yourself!”

“You could’ve fooled me, it looks like a dress from Nordstrom,” she said.

“Thanks!” I said. I smiled and winked at her, and kept walking with more of a little pep in my step. 

Remember that you are Fierce, Beautiful, and Independent regardless of what brand you are wearing. The designer doesn’t define the woman you are, you define the designer.

My fellow sisters, how many of you love designer brands? If so, which are your favorites and why? If you’re not into them, tell me something you are into. Maybe you love cars, which one? 

Do materials define the woman you are? If the answer is yes, I’d love to know why and what’s maybe something you can do to steer away from having them define you.  

Don’t be shy, we’ve all been there, including myself. For me, the fulfillment was by far more rewarding when I gave back to someone in need.